inner journey · Uncategorized

Detaching while in a situation

All of us have our issues or disagreements with certain people or situations, which we address as our “problems”. How much so ever we try to run away from these “problems”, they eventually hit us and hit us hard depending on how far we have tried to run away from them. Earlier I used to feel sad and dejected when confronted by these issues, and get angry with myself, with God, my surroundings and everything; but now I realise that they come up so strongly, as perhaps it is really time for me to outgrow them. They come up in my face for me to emerge strongly out of them.

As a beginner on this path, it is really difficult to stay in tune with my inner self or soul when I get immersed in my so-called situation (I am consciously avoiding the use of the word “problem”). When I am in it, my ego, my vital and all those parts of my outer nature which I am trying to let go/transform, so as to become more and more aligned with my inner nature, come back strongly. I feel this happens due to past conditioning and habit. The old self, because of familiarity, is one’s comfort zone, while the new self which one is in the process of building, is still in the making and taking its form.

When confronted with a difficulty, to step back or detach oneself from the situation is a common advise given by almost all masters and guides. But how does one do it? What helps to step back or detach? In this article I have tried to compile a few points which have helped me in my practice of dealing with my outer nature.

  1. Acceptance:  A complete acceptance of the situation, without denial, without blaming myself or others or the situation itself. It is of course difficult as the mind comes up with lot of judgements, blame game and justifications. Putting all this aside and trying to see things as they are. I also pray for strength and courage to accept the situation. When things came up, I realised I was not reacting, and I was not getting influenced by emotions. I could simply state what was happening. This, for me, was a huge measure as to how much I was able to accept things. Definitely, there is still a long way to go to get completely detached at all times. Just to be able to see the (earlier troubling) situation as an outside occurrence, and the difference in the way I was handling things before and the manner in which I am handling them now seemed a fairly good measure of my personal growth.
  2. Gratitude: Seeing the blessing in the situation and being grateful for it. We do not realise that it is our difficulty that makes us stronger and if we are conscious if it, the same thing helps us to progress on the path. So while being immersed in living the situation, I was also counting all the good things that were happening alongside. I noticed I could identify more and more things I felt grateful for once I started this exercise.
  3. Calmness and Peace:  Trying to avoid worrying or thinking too much about the situation, which would lead to a whirlpool of emotions. Also, not falling prey to a fear attack, saying ‘no’ to negative thoughts etc. Instead, trying to stay calm and peaceful. If I felt that my mind was taking over, then diverting attention (from the disturbing thoughts) by enjoying beauty – of a flower, a butterfly, clouds, beauty of nature etc. These came handy in helping me get in touch with my inner self. Music, meditation etc. of course help, and sometimes just a few deep breaths help in putting me in a good space.
  4. Just let it be: I felt it was best to let things be for a while rather than provoke the issue or give a reaction to it or to people (who I may have felt responsible for my being in that situation). Being neutral (I would like to use the word ‘equanimous’, but I am not yet there) towards people who I do not prefer. If they were my loved ones with whom I was having trouble, then it was relatively easier to let things be as I could focus on their good side and recollect all the good things they had done and were still doing for me. Incidentally, I came across a quote today:“To heal a wound you need to stop touching it”, and it is up to us to apply medicine or herbs for its speedy recovery or let the body heal it in time.
  5. Stay or move forward, never backward:  As part of the detachment exercise, I had overcome a particular feeling with huge difficulty and on that day I was really proud of myself. I had help, yet I had managed to deal with something which I had thought I could not handle. A few days later once again the same feeling started thing taking over me and I confessed this to my brother who reminded me, “Hey! you had gotten over it, now don’t go back.” When he said that it really hit me, that I must not walk back those few steps which I had already traversed. It is easier to go back as we are familiar with that space, but it is important to not go back as I would have really put myself right into the situation again and all the work done over days would have got undone in a moment.
  6. Faith, Goodness and Hope: “Think Positive” is one statement believers, non-believers, psychologists, laymen and each one of us is so familiar with. This is such a strong statement. Inspite of seeing no solution, or rather, not having enough courage to resolve my situation, yet I had immense hope and faith that I will get out of it in no time. This has really helped me to stay positive, not to react to things and continue to stay in a good space. From where I was feeling my situation was a big elephant in the room, now with time and also stepping back, I feel that the elephant has shrunk and it is only a matter of time before it gets fully cleared.
  7. Forgiveness: Forgiving oneself is the key to stepping back and also to come to a resolution. I was going through a lot of self-blame, guilt etc. Realising that this is totally unwanted and unnecessary was a huge blessing. All these lower forms of energy really put us in a bad space, energetically speaking, it is lowest of low energy vibrations. Thus forgiving oneself, others, and the situation is important to help us detach from the situation. Forgiveness does not mean that what someone or a situation has done to us is alright, but it is merely accepting, not holding a grudge, hatred, waiting to pay back etc. (Hawaiian healing process called ho’oponopono is really a handy way to help us get through a situation, if we are having a hard time forgiving someone.)
  8. Clarity:    I believe having clarity in my own head is the way forward from stepping back to getting into action. I have realized that unclear and vague ideas make matters worse. So with faith in my heart, I am waiting for clarity to dawn on me so that I can outgrow something which is probably a pattern, that has to be resolved over lifetimes.  “Ask and you shall receive” supposedly Jesus said this. Also, whenever I have asked with clarity the universe has gifted it to me with no effort of my own. Meditation has always provided me with answers, so I am relying on it to help me get to the next step.

With gratitude to the situation for all the lessons I am learning, gratitude to the people involved in different ways, and gratitude to the Higher Self and to myself, I end my musings here… with a hope that all of us are successfully able to leave a situation when required and resolve/recover the same situation when it is meant to be.

inner journey · Poems

A Prayer to the Eternity

Give me the patience you have with me 
 
Fill me in with your essence ; in harmony with my current nature 
 
Help me cope through this time of metamorphosis 
 
Help me to love me and others as you love
 
Help me to free me as you have freed me 
 
Help me be true to my soul now and always 
 
Handhold me to rise above the constructed constraints of this world 
 
For I am a mere mortal with your immortal essence 
 
I turn towards you like a blossomed sunflower
For there is only you in truth. Only you. 
 
Offering you my gratitude for all that IS.
inner journey

9 ways to destress from any situation

This is quite a personal journey and I am intending to write it in as detached and generic manner as possible so that I can myself look back and apply it in other situations in life.

I have read so many times about the mind+body+soul connection. Since I began my inner journey, I have been testing these theories on myself. I use Louise Hay’s ‘causes of symptoms’ to know (one of the Sites: http://alchemyofhealing.com/causes-of-symptoms-according-to-louise-hay/) the meta-level of the problem in the body.

For example in the case of coughs: A desire to bark at the world. “Listen to me!”

One time I might be suppressing the desire to shout out or scream at my workspace, another time at my parents or my partner, siblings, friends or myself! So this broader picture from the website, gives lead to dig into the personal subliminal issue.  

Knowing the Why? The cause. Why is something happening in my body or what is making it happen? And with these clues from the mind, body relation I have received an answer from within me always, whether I act on it or not is a different issue, but body does give an answer.

One Saturday evening, I was planning to travel to begin something anew but then everything changed. I was suffering from intense back pain. Seeing me in pain a friend referred me to a local physiotherapist. He asked me many questions in order to try and figure out the trigger of the pain. We discussed all possibilities and then he mentioned stress. I plainly said ‘possible’ but at that point I knew precisely, I had invited all this upon me.

Stress — was I aware of it? Yes and No.

Reflecting on it, I saw there are two culprits. First is ofcourse me or rather the unaware me who let the mind surf the wave of negative thoughts and the other is the ‘outside entity’. By outside entity I mean social conditionings, social norms, societal pressures, well-wishers, family and friends.

I do not blame either of the culprits.

Someone might say or give an opinion, which might be true for them – however their opinion is coming from the same conditioning and they too do not know how to think outside the box. (This video helped a lot to get that insight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AegLdB7UI4U)  

So they might be talking to you out of real concern but they also come from the place where years have gone in gruelling their minds to ‘this is right’ and’ that is wrong’.

If the first culprit had enough strength or awareness; it would have stayed really untouched by the second, when I think of it. However I tell myself that I have just started unlearning the years of learning and realizing there is “no right” and “no wrong”; it just IS and it is also a sadhana to keep reminding that to myself.

When something unexpected hits us, start rolling the dice from square one and get on with the game. Something I have been realizing over and over from the lessons I learn is that, it is not a fresh start – it is like weaving a new thread in the inner circle – so it seems like we are at the starting point but it is a new weave! So it is not a fall, it is in fact a step of progress.

Multiple things including STRESS caused this back ache — because of which I cannot anymore carry out any of my beautifully & mentally laid out plans – instead I am home bound and restricted like never before. I could easily get stressed again for all these obvious ailments and that would bring only more ‘dis-eases’. This vicious cycle or ‘the loop in a loop’ dawned on me and by Grace my mind just started spinning in a positive way (or may be it wasn’t the mind at all, by then the mind was out and something else took over).

The first day I was sad, dejected and had lost faith; well not really as I believe we never completely lose faith, and if we do then we cannot exist. Faith and Hope is what drives us. I started looking within, started looking for the strength inside me. I started being grateful for this time for myself.

I started my exercises and do it regularly and making that my meditation time. I would focus, concentrate and ‘just be’ while I exercised. The more I focused the better I felt, simultaneously I continued physiotherapy as well.

Being an active person, it is quite difficult to box all my vital energy and stay at home all the time.

As I am not yet The Dragon Warrior, I wasn’t finding the inner peace all the time. I saw myself having anger outbursts or frustrations or the ego strongly building up self-destructive thoughts and at those times I would make a self note and get out of the situation.

So here is how I am trying to manage my Sadhana in the midst of my “so called” situation: (I am choosing not to use the word problem – as anything is a problem only if we think it is a problem – otherwise it just is a life lesson or an experience or a situation)

 

    1. Meditating as many times (every 1.5hrs I try along with exercises. Some attempts succeed and others fail as mind is also not used to the calmness and peace.)
    2. Diary writing (this helps a lot; while writing down I feel many parts of me back out and a true voice comes out – sometimes I feel this as a conversation with my soul or with God or with my true inner self, though it is quite a task to be in that inner zone)
    3. Reading books that shut my mind and touch my soul
    4. Choosing to meet and talk only to those people that matter
    5. Self-Observation  (what I mean by this is I try and keep a part of me detached and just observe with no judgments, no corrections, no saying this is right or this is wrong nor do this or that. It is quite a task in itself)
    6. Kicking out any negative thought I catch (this is the toughest one)
    7. Some mornings I say affirmations. (I am still not sure how this works; but this is just an add on to whatever other physical medication. I feel good and happy after it just like listening to Music, so I do it. )
    8. Music that grounds me (all of us have some music which just lets us BE and nothing matters at that time)
    9. Nature.  Just getting out of the space and walking outside for fresh air and open feeling.

Now two-three weeks since the unbearable pain, I feel much better and confident that I will be healthy super soon. From where I could not sit up for two minutes – I could sit down to write this article.

Ending this note, hoping all of us find our inner peace through our Sadhana in such a way that nothing outside bothers us anymore.

 

inner journey

Letting GO & Letting God. 

First I would like to address God and my inhibition to use The Word. In my day-to-day conversations it is so much easier to use the so-called curse words than I would say God. There is ease in using more abstract words like the “universe” or the “heavens” or “events take its course” or “Divine”.  For the past months I have been trying to overcome this block and to many levels I have and in many levels I have not.

Recently I have been pondering on WHY is this reluctance. I recognised it has come with a lot of social conditional and religious restraints. I could not contain that GOD prefers me to wear “traditional clothes”; God would punish me for not having ”Good Behaviour”; God is non-accepting and punishing of my “ungodly thoughts” and the list goes on.

As I was reading the first few pages of “Conversations with God” (by Neale Donald Walsch) it suddenly fell on me that He can be just like The Big Friendly Giant (from the Spielberg Movie BFG). Ofcourse he has no rules.

If He is beginning and He is the end as mentioned in Upanishads then “All is He”. Everything is He. He is the Creator.

So what is not HE? Only the fear that “a particular activity is not a Godly activity” which makes it so? As any kind of fear brings in a shrinking feeling it must be so.

So by Letting God, I continue to write this…

Life takes us through different phases; gives us more and more experiences, enriches us, nourishes us. Experiences become painful or nourishment, with the way we look at it.

I am currently in one such phase and the more I ponder the more I realize that I have to walk my path, all by myself. There is no other to do that for you, and your only company is God. When He is there with you, then you feel the peace, you suddenly find relief in a pain you are going through. Currently I am trying to take these experiences of pain with love, thus letting go of all fear based thoughts, conditionings and feelings.

Letting the inner Love shine through me as much.

Even though I like to be a shining beam of love all the time, years of conditioning and ego takes me away from this central theme. Hence I have appointed one part me to keep reminding this to me that I have to Let go of Fear based thoughts and let only God’s Love in. Whenever that part is conscious I am progressing and letting go more and more so as to welcome the New.

I always love using this analogy for God since I began my inner journey and started finding the connection with Him through my inner Self. It is that He is like “the Powerful Friend” that Bruce Wayne has to get things done. Transforming to your true Batman Self and letting go of the egoist wants, needs and other fears will bring peace, harmony, love and joy in life.

Even though I feel this part of me coming forward many times, it is really difficult to be Batman all the time.  Meditation, Quieting my mind and other tools like “Remembering and Offering” helps me.

Sometimes grounding meditation – like being a tree which is growing all the way up for light and having deep nourished roots on Mother earth helps me clear fear based energies. Sometimes being washed with pure light. Catching the thoughts and not letting thoughts take you rather guiding the thoughs consciously helps.

Ofcourse I am not a beaming light radiating with Love all the time (though I wish) it is a constant process. Here Remembering and offering helps a lot.

I associate with some objects and that reminds me to go inward and offering all the unwanted energy, thoughts or fears to God or the Divine Mother or Gaia during the grounding meditation.

I am sure this or similar thing has happened to almost all of us – we would keep looking for a lost item over and over in all possible places thinking we would find it. Then we would move on thinking it is lost and from nowhere this would appear.

This is the closest example I can come with for portraying Letting go & Letting God. By completely stepping aside our ego self and letting our true inner self take actions that brings harmony and peace.

I feel blessed for those times I am able to let go of “my” needs, wants, desires and Let God. During all other times, I offer that egoist self of mine also to God or Universe so that it is transformed.

Ending the note wishing that all our super hero selves come forward and bring more light for the world.